I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
