It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
