I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
