I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
