You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
