I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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