we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
