Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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