I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize