Farmville is her only friend.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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