Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
