For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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