As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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