How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
