I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
