didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
