I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
