i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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