i would punch a child for taco bell
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize