I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
