It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
