We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
