am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize