is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
