I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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