I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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