i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
