There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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