Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize