i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
