so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
