I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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