Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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