the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
