i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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