i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
You left your phone here
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