she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
