dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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