so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize