you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
