I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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