no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Randomize
