"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
