R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
