Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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