I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
