Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
