Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
