I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
