Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize