So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
