Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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