I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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