Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Drake has all the answers
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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