we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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