and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
