I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
