I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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