You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
