it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
