id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
