D3 body, D1 cock
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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