What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Randomize
