After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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