Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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