that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
