I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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