Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
