worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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