Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
