I'm gonna have a badass scar
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
