singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
