he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
