Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
